our new baby had it's picture taken today too...

So, if you can't tell, we are having a BOY. Girl, boy, girl, boy...I would say we are pretty lucky. So, we went in for the ultrasound and I was a nervous wreck. I dont know why I allow myself to get this way. I noticed the outdoor plumbing right away and my heart sank. I was a little disappointed so I thought it was because I wanted a girl, but as I thought about it I realized that I was just overcome with emotion for a few different reasons and couldn't take it all in that fast. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE boys. I had one of those moments where I was overcome with the reality that I will soon have 4 children. Before it was just a lima bean and now that my stomach is popping out it became very real all the sudden...don't make fun of me, I know you're wondering why it took so long to dawn on me that I was having a baby, but when you put a gender to it and watch him kick all around on the screen, it melts your heart. another wave of emotion was coming from my overenthusiastic husband who was already calling it by the name we definately don't agree on. That really did make me cry. I know, sad. I felt like a two year old with an owie. I am sure we can reach an agreement on a name so not something to cry over...but lastly, I had an overwhelming amount of anxiety when they said, "It's a boy." I instantly hoped that this baby boy got my good x chromosome as the chances of him having X-linked agammaglobulinemia is 50/50 and I know it's not my fault, but there is an amount of guilt every mother has that carries a disease to their child. We will test him as soon as he's born for the mutation on the x chromosome, so atleast we will know much sooner than we did with Landon. We now do the plasma infusions at home every week subcutaneously and Landon is so brave. he doesnt cry over needles so much anymore. He's my hero. There is no cure for it so this will be for life but I am so thankful that they lead normal lives otherwise and are not limited in what they can and cannot do. I just get to be the crazy lady who sanitizes everything including my sons classroom..we all take immune systems for granted. Actually we take so much for granted. And the last burst of emotion was the relief that everything was healthy and the baby looks like he is growing right on schedule. I am due april 28th and will probably schedule his arrival 1-2 weeks early since its my fourth c-section. all in all, I think I went through a box of kleenex on the way home I laughed and cried and felt so silly for having no control over my emotions! I was like that with my other boy pregnancy-an emotional wreck! I think Chris has done a wonderful job at putting up with all my emotions. Now that i am over all the tears, we are thrilled to add a little boy to our family of soon to be 6! It doesn't hit you how big your family is until you go to sign a christmas card and it takes up all the space just to write everyone's name!